WHY TEENS NEED TO REALIZE WHAT LIES CAN DO

After 10 years Brian Banks is exonerated of crime he didn't commit 

Every once in a while a story on the news really grabs you. It makes you consider other issues triggered by what you've just seen. I often say that too many parents feel like their kids are born with an operating manual, so they don't have to put the time into teaching them what's right and what's wrong. I don't know if this was the case in the story I saw on CNN this morning, but it also brought home the fact that often youngsters don't realize or care about the full impact of their actions. 


As a writer and columnist, I felt compelled to blog about this one and add my two cents.
In 2002 Brian Banks was a 17 year old student, on the track to a full football scholarship. The future looked bright until one lie changed his whole life. Wanetta Gibson, a girl at his school, lied to her mother and school officials. She said he raped her in a stairwell at Long each Polytechnic High School. Who knows why she did that, but because of her insistence it was true, instead of becoming a football hero, Banks spent five years in prison, another five on monitored parole and was listed as a sex offender. Once he was on parole, the designation as sex offender impacted his ability to get a job and many other things. Meanwhile, Wanetta received $1.5 Million as a settlement from the school district.


Here's where the story really grabbed me. Recently Wanetta found Brian on Facebook and asked him if they could let bygones be bygones. She admitted that she lied and even added that she didn't lose her virginity until years later. Wow! No apology? Just "can't we be friends and let bygones be bygones?" In his interview, Brian said that he'd managed to record her comments and that's the only thing that exonerated him. His attorney, also part of the interview, said without that recording there would have been no justice for Brian. Wearing a tee-shirt with the replica of a license plate that proclaimed XONER8 he listened calmly. 


Finally free, he is enjoying the results of that incredible Facebook contact. He said he's still hoping for a football career with the NFL, and I wish him God speed. May his dreams come true. He said he doesn't hold hate for her in his heart. He just wants to get on with the life that was stolen from him. 
The commentator asked whether Wanetta has apologized for this heinous miscarriage of justice. He said she never did but told him she'd had a hard life, too. The commentator's eyes widened as she said how hard that must have been with $1.5 Million of the school district's money.


This whole interview raised many questions in my mind. First of all, if the girl was still a virgin at the time, where were the rape kit results? Was one even used? Was she mad at Brian for something and using this as a way to  "get him," never considering the consequences in her teenage mind? How did she feel over the years knowing that she had received a good deal of money for destroying someone's life with a lie? Why did she never express remorse for her actions?


Things like this happen more often than any of us would like to believe. I personally know of one instance where a high school student wanted to get back at a handsome teacher. She kept flirting and he ignored her so she told the principal the teacher was making inappropriate advances. This resulted in the school getting involved and almost destroyed this young teacher's career. However, in a confrontation in the principal's office with her parents present, the girl broke down, cried and confessed that it was all a lie and that one of her girlfriends had known the truth all along, but confirmed the lies on record. She said she was angry because he didn't pay attention to her and wanted to teach him a lesson. The black mark was removed from his record, but what if she hadn't caved under the pressure? What if her friend, when brought into it, continued to say she was telling the truth?


False accusations like this make it all the harder for the legitimate rape cases. Women who have really been raped hesitate to come forward because, although it's gotten much better, in so many instances they are treated like the perpetrator, not the victim.


Parents need to impress upon their kids that lying can have very serious consequences. In order for it to be effective, however, the kids need to know that they can tell the truth without punishments so severe that they would rather stick to their lie than be honest. That's hard. What is too severe, anyway? That's a question to be answered on a case-by-case basis, but I implore parents to go back to some of the practices that were prevalent in more innocent years. Teach your kids what's right, what's wrong, what's rude and what is commendable.


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The time is growing near for the release of "Who's Got the Money?"

This is exciting! 

The time is growing closer for the release of my latest funny crime caper, Who's Got the Money? co-authored with Meredith Holland. 

Forget about the notion that little prison factories manufacture nothing but license plates.  Manufacturing in prisons is big business with modern factories.


It’s a fact that federal prison factories manufacture $800 Million of merchandise every year, but most people don’t know that. Although the book is fiction, by using our first-hand knowledge of this little-known government business, Meredith and I cooked up a clever scheme equal to anything splashed across the headlines or featured on the Ten O’Clock News.

The funny antics of the whistle-blowers in Who’s Got The Money is guaranteed to lead you on a merry chase filled with twists and turns. Follow three sharp women as they unravel a clever misappropriation of government funds plot.

To be released by Oak Tree Press in mid-July.

Go Grease Lightning!

I love looking at high performance and vintage cars, so for Mother's Day I wanted to go to the Petersen Automotive Museum. They had some fabulous cars on display and I stayed as long as I could get hubby to have patience. I'm a browser and looker, so I could have stayed longer than the couple of hours we were there. 

Remember the hot rod from Grease? Here it is along with other Hwd. cars

Back in the day, cars had unique looks. You could always tell what brand and often what year it was just by looking. I saw cars from the early 1900s, right on up to a rocket car which I will post a photo of later.

Hmmm. I'm leaving for a few weeks at the Las Vegas home Tuesday, but when I come back to L.A. I'll have to go back to the museum by myself and browse to my heart's content. Going to watch 60 Minutes now.

Love my new cover for CONFESSIONS OF A COUGAR

I love my new cover for CONFESSIONS OF A COUGAR, due to come out in September. Kudos to cover designer Karen Phillips.

Oh yeah, Audrey has lots of secrets and the only way to find out what they are is to read the book. As I've already said, I was the model for Audrey and this is creative non-fiction, meaning that an extremely large percentage is true.

Yesterday, I had lunch  with the friend who was the model for Sue, and we laughed our heads off at some of the things we got into back then. Both of us have traveled extensively since that time, but our escapades during this trip made for hot, steamy...

And it didn't stop after we got back to the States.

Oh yeah!

Traffic in Los Angeles - UGH!

Yesterday around 5:00 we left Marina Del Rey (near Venice beach) to meet our cousins for a 6:00 dinner in the San Fernando Valley. As Flossie, the 80 year-old mother in our Silver Sisters Mysteries would say, "Oy vey!"

Anyone who lives in our City of Angels knows that you don't take the freeway at that hour because it is a veritable parking lot. So you figure out the best alternate route using surface streets. Hubby decided the best thing was to take a route he used to use back in the day. Bundy to Barrington to Sunset to Church to Sepulveda to the freeway entrance. Can you say snail's pace? That would have been speeding.

We inched along as the hands on the clock (to be proper I should say digits since clocks in cars generally don't have hands now) seemed to speed forward. Almost an hour and we hadn't even made it to Sunset. Where did all the cars come from?

We finally made it into Sepulveda Pass and looked over at the 405 freeway. Cars were actually moving along at a decent pace, unlike the crawl we'd been doing. You never know, do you?

We arrived at the restaurant a little after 6:15. Not bad. An hour and fifteen minutes for a drive that would have been about 20-25 minutes in off peak traffic. Oh well. That's life in L.A.

The cover for my upcoming book. Whoo hoo! Targeted for September release

This book is creative non-fiction. In other words, 90%-95% of it is true. Names have been changed  to protect the innocent as they say, but I will confess--Audrey is based on me.

At age 42, Audrey took her first trip to England with her friend Sue. Audrey's boyfriend had traded for a lease on a cottage in the village of Upper Warlingham and treated them to a three week vacation.

However, nestled in high grass and weeds, what they imagined as a charming, quaint cottage turned out to look as foreboding as a haunted house. The windows were covered in such a heavy layer of dust and dirt they appeared opaque. A few loose shingles on the roof made flapping noises as a slight breeze lifted them and dropped them back.  

This rocky start could have ruined their whole trip, but instead Audrey and Sue have a completely unexpected adventure and officially earn the title "Cougar."

Look for it in September, 2012.

How do you recognize a true friend?

Nope, these aren't my slick radar glasses. Just a fun pair I tried on when I was in Australia last year, but thought they sort of went with this post about seeking out old friends.

Today I once again realized the special quality of a true friendship. A few years back I connected with my best friend from elementary school in Chicago after I was able to get her current address through a high school reunion list. I didn't go to that high school because we moved to California, but knew that many of my elementary school friends had.

I contacted her and we were in the groove immediately. That's what I'm talking about. It doesn't matter how many years pass, if the friendship was true, it should still be there. She lives in a different state, so we don't see each other often, but every time she comes into Los Angeles we try to hook up, and the connection reignited all because I emailed the address on that high school reunion list.

Today I gave into the temptation to try to find someone who "did me wrong" several years ago by shelling out the few bucks it takes to do an identity search. Something I decided not to do on other occasions. BTW, it is a little scary how much information  is out there about most people if you are willing to pay to get it. Well, I guess this slimy dude managed to stay under the radar (if he's still alive) so there was nothing beyond some info from several years ago. While I was searching and had paid for a 7 day window,  I decided to take a chance and plug in the name of someone who was a dear friend I lost contact with many years ago, just to see what would come up.

What came up, among other things, was a phone number. I took the plunge and called, then left my name and number on the answering machine. I hadn't seen this person for probably 20 years. A few years ago his old phone number popped into my mind out of nowhere, and just kept doing that. I had the feeling something must be wrong at that time and called the number, but it was completely outdated. I even did a search on the internet and didn't find anything. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened.

I'm so glad I called and left a message today. Lo and behold, a few hours ago my phone rang, and --yep-- it was my  friend from the past. Turned out he had been very sick when I was getting those vibes but is now recovered. And there it was. The unique  sign of a true friendship. We talked for an hour as though the last time we'd seen each other had only been a day or so ago.

Here is what I learned. Don't allow yourself to lose track of true friends. It really felt good to reconnect and I know we will have lots to talk about as we play catch up. After all, a ton of time has passed with many changes for both of us.